POLITICS FROM A –to- Z

In a recent fire Bob Dole's library burned down. Both books were lost. And he hadn't even finished coloring one of them." —Jack Kemp

More and more often people have been asking me: “Why do I judge President Obama so harshly?

Not lost in this irony…. Is the fact that the essence of the question is fairly judgmental. I simply love people. The fact of the matter is I don’t judge any man—not even Barack. I take my salary-free job too serious.

Side bar: raise your hand if you are equally committed to a monthly task for no commission…, other than your community.

More times than I care to count, I turn down money for a Ghetto Proverbs post. My fear is compromising the authenticity for my perspective. So, to think that I would judge Barack personally, would be extremely insulting to me…, that is if trading wits with an unarmed person could be remotely insulting.

My universal task is to analyze, critique and offer constructive criticism on any man, woman or organization posing in a position of aid to the community—my community, and the birthplace of this inner city truth. You know, just like Hip Hop.But, I am sure you knew that just from this blog title. That is unless your chamber is empty.

The ultimate goal is to be a voice for the voiceless, while trying to get my community to understand why they feel the way they do. Honestly, I think I have more fun than they do. One day the feelings will be mutual. I have too much faith to believe otherwise.

I think Barack is an interesting person—almost fascinating. This is why he is mentioned in this blog more than any single person on earth. He is an extremely polarizing person. Barack is neutral (unless it’s popular)—then he’s assertive (that’s politics for ya). He’s witty when he has to be and charming (which is very popular) especially during an election. Barack is articulate (which is insulting when you think of the covert assumption). He is athletic (albeit horrible at basketball, bowling, and golf)—thus making him a fan more than an athlete. He is a smoker, which (of course) is almost never mentioned since it will nibble at his popularity—and no one with an unloaded chamber wants that, right? In fact, my dear sweet, sister once told me that Barack is a role model, but she thinks Pookie from New Jack City isn’t because he smokes. Sometimes life is truly stranger than fiction.


Barack denounced his life-long role model Jeremiah Wright, because Minister Wright was upsetting his popularity.I am so glad my mom didn’t take that (Barack) approach when I boo-booed in my pants during a tightly-fitted, close proximity church service. I think true friends and family are with you for life, regardless of how popular or unpopular. Clearly, politicians have different standards—making the title role model ever so quizzical.

Nevertheless, (and despite all the odds telling me otherwise) I decided to tackle this Barack phenomenon philosophically—from A-to-Z. When, I’m done hopefully, we all would have learned something—even if that something is…., how much of your stimulus check will be owed when you file next year’s taxes.

Ready?

A) Have you ever heard a white person described as articulate?

B) Why is it that black people never refer to Bill Clinton as the first black president anymore? Either he wasn’t and the comments were dim-witted or the chamber is jammed, searching for an answer.

C) Name an unarmed Caucasian male that has ever been shot in the back by a police officer. Take your time.

D) What do you think will happen first.., Pontiac will make a come back or (unaided) Barack will mention Darfur in a press conference?

E) How did Clinton lose his “black president” title, but more than half of Barack staff members are ex-Clinton members—including his wife or soon-to-be-ex?

F) Who do you think speaks more to the plight of black people, the largely popular Barack or the marginally popular Farrakhan?

G) I’m still waiting for Hollywood to release a major theatrical with a black man starring as God. FYI: this may be the only job Barack couldn’t apply for since his name is Islamic. Maybe life is stranger than fiction.

H) Who do you think make up the majority of Heaven’s, population democrats, republicans or activists?

I) …. probably, have been invited to my last Barack party.

J) Who do you think Barack will name as the new Supreme Court Justice?

K) Who do you think will win a political battle between Karl Rove and David Axelrod?

L) Lemmie guess how many people voted for Barack, but wouldn’t know the difference between David Axelrod or Axel Foley.



M) In the next 4–to-8 years, Michelle Obama will appear on more “Most Influential People List” without a job, than she would if she did hold one.

N) Never go to law school if you have an opportunity to marry a half white president. After all, the latter is far more influential (see M for more details).

O) Someone reading this just crossed me off Oprah’s book club.

P) If the President’s slogan is change, why did America skip the Geneva Convention on Change? Maybe, “CHANGE” is regional.

Q) I am grading these questions on a curve.

R) During the next election, it’s important to remember that change rarely (if ever) works from the top down.

S) I think it stinks that an American can vote without (first) passing a test in social studies, political science, philosophy, psychology or Greek mythology—especially since capitalisms could never exists without them.

T) Ever wonder why 99% of all media outlet’s headlines only have three words in the title? (i.e. War on Terror).

U) Most portable devices that you own make it much easier for your Barack-led government to keep you under surveillance. FYI: for the device(s) you don’t own, The Patriot Act will take care of that!

V) I saw an “apology expert” on CNN that was analyzing Mike Vick’s face to determine whether Vick’sapology was sincere.

W) WWJD? I saw this on a bumper sticker on my way home from church on Easter Sunday. Maybe the driver left before the pastor got to the resurrection portion of the service.

X) After this post, I have a feeling that X-Ray will take on a whole new meaning.

Y) What are you supposed to YELL if there was an actual fire in a movie theater?

Z) I pray one day that the Zip Codes in America will one day regain their value.

My main man Robert Carter taught me to always end on a positive note. (Z) was just my way of saying thanks, bruth. Rest in peace.

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1 Love,
Ray Lewis