Friday, December 21, 2007

PASTIME PARADISE

There are two kinds of man; the ones who make history and the ones who endure it. Camilo Jose Cela



Brace yourself, this is the time of the year where most news outlets reflect on the year that was. How original. After all, who couldn’t stand to fumble through another ESPN 24-hour B-scroll of Mick Vick pawing his way to infamy? Mike may not have his falcon family to "kick" around anymore, but he’ll have enough prison pals to play with in 2008, should infamous icons like O.J. and R.K. defenses ever rest. For R. Kelly, it is important to note: “Double Up” takes on a whole new meaning in prison.


If Barry Bonds didn’t know what that clear gel he was rubbing was, Kelly may have some insight at least until the Feds readies Bonds' bunk too.

Some folks say the Feds are just picking on our black elite and their profiling knows no boundaries. I'll buy that. In fact, the alphabet boys have now crossed the clergy lines, picking on hometown homies: Eddie L. Long, and Creflo A. Dollar. My first thought is; names like Long & Dollar sure make IRS profiling slightly easier—almost like spotting a furry chinchilla hat at a prize fight. Realistically, profiling is just getting its second wind—-just wait until the government starts the housing market bail out, news of Creflo and Long will be out like Queen Latifah.

I tend to worry about the rich and famous as much as they worry about me. My focus is this presidential election. I thought it was mighty white of Barack to add Oprah to his meal ticket (no pun intended, of course). You will be hard-pressed to find a more essential election than the upcoming 2008 race to destroy what’s left of this so-called superpower. The term superpower is considerably humorous when you stop and think... the only essential commodity the rest of the world relies on the USA for is wheat and Tyler Perry—and one has WAY too much sugar.



If you listen to the loud whispers from China, they feel rice is a more than an adequate substitute to wheat. So, while the American media is distracted by “tainted” toys—China is preparing a global takeover that will change the world’s landscape forever. It is almost knee-slapping funny to think of America as a superpower, yet something as simply as the classic American car is a Bug made in Germany. Or, one of the nation’s leading cuisines is Italian pizza. Even sports attendance is becoming more and more irrelevant. As a matter for fact, there are more NBA fans in China than there are people in the entire U.S.!!! On the homeland front, the United States military, the U.S. currency and the once-touted American commercialism are all fading faster than a Bush Twin’s high. While China is shifting its mighty gears and waging a not-so-stubble war with the U.S., our ballrooms, boarding schools and barbershops are still wagering bets on who has the best butt, J-Lo or Beyonce?


I am not sure who wins that battle, but I am willing to bet, both of their assets are wrapped in jeans that were made in China.

Until ’08, Bottoms Up!!!

(click on blog title for bonus track)

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Ray Lewis

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