"Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper."
Larry Flynt
I remember back in 1985 when the [then] Washington Bullets drafted Sudanese standout 7-7, Manute Bol. At the time bean pole Bol was the tallest NBA player ever. Two years later the perennial cellar dwelling Washington Bullets Mensa management showcased their “wizardry” again when they drafted 5-foot, 3 inch Muggsy Bogues—who (to this day remains) the shortest player in NBA history. (Queue Ringling Brother’s music here)
These circus-like shenanigans prompted starting Bullet forward, Mike Giminski, to question who will Washington draft next year, “The Bearded Lady?”
Well, worry no longer Giminski, the Nation’s capital is at it again, and this time they actually drafted a woman—albeit, beard-less. (Drum roll, please) In 2008, with world peace, the economy and home foreclosures at stake, the Washington Republican team draft, Friends sitcom reject, Sarah Palin.
Yep, the McCain camp selected a scandal-ridden, snowball tossing, igloo-living, birth control-less, soccer mom, who runs a state that’s whiter than a Taye Diggs barbeque. Palin’s first order of business is to continuously jar the memory of a 72-year-old presidential hopeful, who is one horror movie scene away from an eternal soil bath.
I don’t know what it is about those “game day” Washington DC execs, but it’s clear they (at least) have a sense of humor. There is an unwritten rule in sports (and politics) that state: If you are not going to win the game, you at the very least) should make the game entertaining. I believe the GOP’s week-long celebration has eclipsed that fact. Speaking of funny, has any one seen Condi?
In a recent interview Snow White Sarah said: What exactly does a Vice President do??? Hmm, I have not seen her one page resume, but based on that answer she actually may be over-qualified for this ticket. Now then, assuming she is going through with this charade, I thought it was only fair that I post some her duties; which I obtained from an "unnamed source" that rhymes with Billary:
o Color code index cards to ensure John McCain memorizes the addresses of all his homes.
o Change the lock on the White House bar and medicine cabinet.
o Keep a fresh set of depends for long McCain trips.
o Raise the minimum wage. Once this passed, that bill will be called the “In-Law.”
o Extend a hunting invitation to Barack and Biden and forge Chaney’s signature.
o Make Eskimo Pies mandatory in all school lunch programs.
o Make sex with a 16-year-old illegal unless the teen’s mom is running for Vice President. In that case, make it illegal to discuss it.
o Attend funereal ceremonies of World Leaders that the President murdered.
Man, if I knew the only criteria for the First Lady gig was love for the outdoors and babysitting illegitimate children of teen moms, I would’ve nominated Magic City “dancer” Cinnamon Buns. Heaven knows over the years I have contributed enough to her campaign.
This race would be knee-slappin’ funny, if it were not so pain-stalking sad. As I see it, the presidential seat is to simply instill hope. And, clearly Barack read that chapter of the Ringling Brothers handbook. He is such a great politician (FYI: That’s not a compliment). The overwhelming moral duty of the president is to uphold the will of the people. Unfortunately, those people include some of my friends, who swear Barack is “The Chosen One.” Who knew God was a Democrat?
That will of the people also includes my next door neighbor; who last year, took the seats out of a rented Honda Odyssey and showed a bootleg copy of “Boomerang” on the side of their vinyl-sided house.
I had a hard time holding back the laughter during the restaurant scene when 20 Grace Joneses put their legs in Eddie Murphy’s faces at dinner. After the movie I advised my neighbor what a bad idea it was to show movies on the side of the house. She told me that it’s Black History Month..., besides that fact she told me that her Section 8 vouchers are like a Visa cards; “it’s accepted” everywhere.
The people have spoken and the Washington Minstrel Show rolls on.
click on blog title for music clip
1 love,
Ray Lewis
3 comments:
my head will not stop spinning..."you're got the right one baby"...This race is extremely entertaining, and you took it too an entirely different level...Dude!..and you don't even do this for a living...You're one bad Mxxxxx
-PVK
Oooo! Mental foreplay…..
Taking nothing away from Paulin (assuming there is something to take away), I see this as an extension of "the dumbing down of America". And folks are eating it up, getting fat off soundbites, tossing them back like they're Mickey D's fries (before the "healthy oil").
They're so caught up in the fact that he picked a female, nobody's listening to the fact that, outside of a few jokes that Paulin threw out (she really DOES think she's Tina Fey,huh?), nothing is being said.
I watched some women being interviewed – Clinton fans, former Obama fans & some undecided. All of them are on the McCain/Paulin bandwagon after hearing her speak. All Wow. All that without even a nod from Oprah. Congratulations Sarah Paulin – you are political equivalent of Spanx.
I'll say this – Sarah-come-lately did exactly what the Republicans wanted and needed her to do: distract us with all her baggage. Folks were in such a frenzy at the choice that all Paulin had to do the night of the convention was show up – she could've recited the ABC's and folks would still have chanted "USA" non-stop. (How sad is that? She's a frigging VP candidate who comes out and reads well from the teleprompter, plays a couple of rounds of the dozen's at Obama's expense and she becomes a "game changer". Meanwhile, Obama has to show up and be "Moses" or "The Chosen One"? I wonder how many folks realize that, with that kind of mentality he's already handicapped. Even if he wins…he loses.)
Heard the media whining about Paulin not being invited onto Oprah before the election & how it was more "Obama Elitism". So, in addition to polishing up America's image in the global world theatre, ending a war, restoring the economy, and lead our people to the promised land, Obama also has to book guest for Oprah's show? Dang – it's a good thing they got a lock on the cover model for O magazine.
It would be funny were it not so sad – and scary. If I'd been a Clinton supporter & this was how McCain was trying to woo my vote, I'd be highly irritated. Oh well…can't say this is the first time a guy thought swapping vaginas would put him ahead of the game.
Sorry for posting a "post" in your comments but you know what mental stimulation does to me.
Whew. Was that as good for you as it was for me?
Now pass me a cigarette Ray Lewis.
Just found your blog. It's cool, and I blogrolled you.
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