"Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper."
Larry Flynt
I remember back in 1985 when the [then] Washington Bullets drafted Sudanese standout 7-7, Manute Bol. At the time bean pole Bol was the tallest NBA player ever. Two years later the perennial cellar dwelling Washington Bullets Mensa management showcased their “wizardry” again when they drafted 5-foot, 3 inch Muggsy Bogues—who (to this day remains) the shortest player in NBA history. (Queue Ringling Brother’s music here)
These circus-like shenanigans prompted starting Bullet forward, Mike Giminski, to question who will Washington draft next year, “The Bearded Lady?”
Well, worry no longer Giminski, the Nation’s capital is at it again, and this time they actually drafted a woman—albeit, beard-less. (Drum roll, please) In 2008, with world peace, the economy and home foreclosures at stake, the Washington Republican team draft, Friends sitcom reject, Sarah Palin.
Yep, the McCain camp selected a scandal-ridden, snowball tossing, igloo-living, birth control-less, soccer mom, who runs a state that’s whiter than a Taye Diggs barbeque. Palin’s first order of business is to continuously jar the memory of a 72-year-old presidential hopeful, who is one horror movie scene away from an eternal soil bath.
I don’t know what it is about those “game day” Washington DC execs, but it’s clear they (at least) have a sense of humor. There is an unwritten rule in sports (and politics) that state: If you are not going to win the game, you at the very least) should make the game entertaining. I believe the GOP’s week-long celebration has eclipsed that fact. Speaking of funny, has any one seen Condi?
In a recent interview Snow White Sarah said: What exactly does a Vice President do??? Hmm, I have not seen her one page resume, but based on that answer she actually may be over-qualified for this ticket. Now then, assuming she is going through with this charade, I thought it was only fair that I post some her duties; which I obtained from an "unnamed source" that rhymes with Billary:
o Color code index cards to ensure John McCain memorizes the addresses of all his homes.
o Change the lock on the White House bar and medicine cabinet.
o Keep a fresh set of depends for long McCain trips.
o Raise the minimum wage. Once this passed, that bill will be called the “In-Law.”
o Extend a hunting invitation to Barack and Biden and forge Chaney’s signature.
o Make Eskimo Pies mandatory in all school lunch programs.
o Make sex with a 16-year-old illegal unless the teen’s mom is running for Vice President. In that case, make it illegal to discuss it.
o Attend funereal ceremonies of World Leaders that the President murdered.
Man, if I knew the only criteria for the First Lady gig was love for the outdoors and babysitting illegitimate children of teen moms, I would’ve nominated Magic City “dancer” Cinnamon Buns. Heaven knows over the years I have contributed enough to her campaign.
This race would be knee-slappin’ funny, if it were not so pain-stalking sad. As I see it, the presidential seat is to simply instill hope. And, clearly Barack read that chapter of the Ringling Brothers handbook. He is such a great politician (FYI: That’s not a compliment). The overwhelming moral duty of the president is to uphold the will of the people. Unfortunately, those people include some of my friends, who swear Barack is “The Chosen One.” Who knew God was a Democrat?
That will of the people also includes my next door neighbor; who last year, took the seats out of a rented Honda Odyssey and showed a bootleg copy of “Boomerang” on the side of their vinyl-sided house.
I had a hard time holding back the laughter during the restaurant scene when 20 Grace Joneses put their legs in Eddie Murphy’s faces at dinner. After the movie I advised my neighbor what a bad idea it was to show movies on the side of the house. She told me that it’s Black History Month..., besides that fact she told me that her Section 8 vouchers are like a Visa cards; “it’s accepted” everywhere.
The people have spoken and the Washington Minstrel Show rolls on.
click on blog title for music clip
1 love,
Ray Lewis
