MEET THE PRESS

"The power of the periodical press is second only to that of the people."

-Alexis de Tocqueville

It sure seems like the media has an unusually cool, calm and un-clamoring relationship with Barack Obama. Could it be that the most powerful, yet tainted and unsavory news and entertainment outlet has finally come to terms with its iniquitous ways? Or, is Barack such a breath of fresh air (their words), that he gets a media pass—in the truest sense of the word? Before we begin to whip out the book of baby names, searching for what "Obama" really means; let's examine a few brothas the media dubbed "safe":

Cuba Gooden Jr.
Let’s face it, the media skipped right pass the Boyz In Da Hood section of his resume. In fact, when the media mentions this good Negro's accolades they tipically start his infamous “fetchin’ line from Jerry McGuire. Sadly, John Singleton gets the same amount of credit for jump-starting Gooden’s career as Keenon Ivory Wayans receives for propelling Jim Carrey’s career on In Living Color.

Tiger Woods
I guess you see where this list is going, huh? Wal-Mart pulled all of the Fuzzy Zeller promotions when Zeller suggested (after Tiger won his first Masters tournament); “Just don’t bring any of that Collared Greens and Chicken up in here.” Who the hell does Fuzzy think he is, Michael Richards? I heard Tim Hardaway called Tiger and said "damn, I cannot believe that fruit said that. I think Zeller is nuts!!" (no pun intended).

Clarence Thomas
Conservative news and talk could not get enough of this Supreme Negero nominee. Blacks are certain to be happy with this selection, the media touted. Then, the press turned on Pimp Thomas when Anita Hill (reluctantly) emerged with can of Coke and an upside down smile. Thomas claimed this hairy situation was nothing short of a "high-tech lynching." Thomas leaped pass the more cliché race card and reached straight for the slave slogan.. one that would make David Duke uncomfortable. You may not be able toargue with Thomas' merits, but you sure can question his motatives. At least he still has his wife.

Michael Jordan
What can I say, if you are a good Negro that is usually enough for the media... Add running and jumping to the mix… well, the press is likely to give you a key to their teen daughter's tree house. Jordan’s press pass doesn't even have an expiration date. Mike Nice can gamble on NBA time, plant a black seed in a white woman (think Juanita's lawyer knew that?), trade marriage secrets with Amad Rashaad or dunk on Bugs Bunny. This is all possible just as long as that Wall Street NIKE swosh at the bottom of the CNBC ticker doesn’t show a negative, he'll be as positive as a Strong Thurman DNA sample. I remember Jordan was once asked: "why don't he speak out against the slave labor/ Third World “employees” that are handcrafting his NIKE Airs... The same ones that black kids are killing each other for in Chicago?" Jordan said, ah, what can I say.., Republicans wear sneakers too. Great. I wonder if those same Republicans are still searching for the REAL perpetrators that murdered his dad? I think Kobe is more like Mike than he realizes.

I know Taye Diggs, Halle Berry and Oprah Winfrey assumed I forgot about them. Hey, don’t worry your day is coming.. Today, however, Obama is the focus. I have to admit Barack will be a formidable opponent—mainly because he is focused and (seemingly) fearless. I sometimes wonder, though.. if you are smart enough to be president, you should be wise enough not to run. Right Colin?

I find it funny how the most conservative right-wingers delicately handle Barack… come on you've heard them: "He is so clean," "he speaks so well," "he is so credible." Do you think Barack will ever tell those ass-less conservatories that, unless you are Flavor Flav or the governor of California those attributes are not compliments? Obama may find out really soon that black people are more likely to vote along the party lines versus the racial ones (ask Sharpton). Who knows, Barack may know that... After all, I don’t really know much about him… of course, I am not pressed.

1 love,

Ray Lewis