I'll Take Popes for 1,000

Contrary to the views shared by some atheists or agnostics , the cloud of white smoke surrounding the Vatican City today did not come out of a peace pipe at a reggae street festival. The white smoke signaled the new reign of Pope Joseph Ratzinger or, as his robe-mate hommies like to call him, Pope Benedict XVI.

If you never thought organized religion was (at the very least) divisive--just think about this bizarre ritual. The Popes-to-be are hidden behind closed doors, sequestered like a Michael Jackson jury, and stripped of all cellphones, beepers, and two-ways. All votes are to be written and placed in a Golden Bowl (of sorts), and the Popes have to disguise their handwriting too. The cellphone strip tease is to make sure that they are relieved of all outside communications. Hmm... One would assume that if you simply asked the Popes not to make any outside communication, that they would honor that request. This is religion, right? Instead, we of the free world chose to Pat down the Pats like they were entering a 50 Cent concert. Secondly, don't Popes have the "ultimate" communication? If they don't have that Heavenly communication, all those people missing days and days of work to analyze smoke signals are not only having smoke blown up in the air.....

Pope Benedict XVI, who looks like a cross between Billy Graham and Chevy Chase, is 78 years-old, so if you could not attend this mornings "inauguration" festivities, you may want to fax your Hail Mary's to him, because Lord only knows when he'll make it to Harlem. Those of you dreaming of a Black Pope must have seen White smoke too... wrapped around a green leaf.

1 love,
Ray Lewis