"Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect. "
--Stephen Leacock
--Stephen Leacock
FROM A to Z
FROM A to Z
A. Why is
everyone tripping..., my tight end Aaron Hernandez
killed somebody.
B. Y’all
should see what I do to my own balls.
C. I can’t believe
this attack on white American quarterbacks.
D. The NFL defenses would be pissed if they saw what was
in my cup.
E. The Eagles signed Mike Vick.
F. This fine only hurts the Boston strippers.
G. You call this a
punishment, 4 more weeks at home with my underwear model wife, Gisele?
H. Do you know how many balls I would have to deflate to
lose to the Colts?
I. Y’all
should’ve seen what I did to the balls in the Super Bowl.
J. I
wonder just how many jump-offs I
will be able to smash now that I have four extra weeks.
K. When the
2015 season kicks off, I will
still look better than Payton Manning.
L. The
real losers are the gay camera
men.
M. Most Patriots fans are cool with cheating.
N. Note to self…, I should’ve paid $2 Million to
let the air out of Roger Goodell.
O. What offensive doesn’t take advantage of the
rules?
P. Prince needs to do a concert on the attack of
the white man’s freedoms.
Q. You should see
the other questionable shit in
my phone!
R. Did I hear Ray Lewis says something about my morals?
S. When the
season starts I will still look better than Shannon
Sharpe.
T. I often
wonder…, when my nieces and nephews call me Uncle Tom… Joyner always answers.
U. Under no circumstances will this keep me out
of the Hall of Fame.
V. We still
have more Super Bowl victories than
your team.
W. What in the @!#$ is a Wells Report?
X. If you saw
where Bill Belichick steals his X’s and
O’s from Goodell would really be pissed.
Y. Wait until y’all see the ratings for the first 4
Patriots games without me.
Z. I am
suspended for 4 games and Isiah “Zeek” Thomas is
still coaching?
1 Love,
Ray Lewis
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